LDS Mormon Journey





Recovery Phases

It’s important to recognize that everyone has different experiences and situations when trying to recover from Mormonism. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for the steps I went through from True Believer to Happy Unbeliever.

Here's the phases I went though over two years, in a nutshell:

The Itch
I started feeling like I didn't belong in the church anymore. I kept thinking to myself in church, "I don't belong here anymore." Something was bothering me, but I didn't know what and didn't think it was the church. I was still in denial.

I began studying church history, doctrine and scripture and was shocked at what I discovered.

Inside, I was mad as hell at Joseph Smith and the leaders of the church for perpetuating the fraud.

I didn't dare tell anyone what I had learned, not even my wife. I thought doubting could unravel my life.

I started teaching more in the Priesthood Quorum, attended the temple more and tried praying my doubts away. In some ways I became more fanatical than ever.

Closet Doubter
My doubts continued, so I just started playing along even though I had serious doubts.

I felt trapped. I dreaded church. I didn't know how long I could go on like this.

I finally shared my doubts with close friends and my wife, who sympathized with my issues. I began to feel better as I felt their support. I still avoided telling my family because I knew how they would react.

I stopped feeling accepted by the church and lost interest in trying to keep up the facade.

The Break
We stopped going to church altogether, informed the bishop we wanted "no contact." He agreed.

The Siege
Church members started calling and visiting us. Some were blunt, others were subtle. We started getting upset at all the harassment.

Standing Ground
We stopped wearing garments, did what we wanted on Sunday and began to shed our Mormon habits.

New Boundaries
We told our families about our decision to leave the church and faced their reactions. Very painful, but healthy as we set adult relationship boundaries with our parents and siblings.

We tried wine, coffee and tea for the first time and enjoyed trying many of the forbidden things of Mormonism. Some of them we liked, some of them we didn't. This was a fun time of exploring.

The real fruits of the whole process begin to blossom. We found a new community that shared our new values. We took what we felt was good about our Mormon past and kept it, and dumped the bad. We feel more self-confidence, self-awareness and family closeness than ever before in our lives.

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